Talking to your children about your impending divorce is likely one of the most stressful conversations you will ever have. However, it will play a crucial role in how they cope with this major life event, so you must approach it with care and thoughtful planning. The better you handle this conversation, the easier this situation will be for your children.
Breaking the News About Your Divorce
Although collaborating with your spouse on anything probably sounds like a tall order, this conversation will work best if you have it together with your children. Presenting this important news to your children as a team sends an important message and will assure them that, regardless of the divorce, you will both continue to raise them as a team.
When you deliver this news together, it is also crucial to avoid playing the blame game. You both probably have some very strong ideas about who is at fault for the divorce, but none of that will matter during this conversation. Your primary concern should be your children and ensuring they feel safe and secure. If your children ask why you are getting divorced, simply say that the marriage is not working and resist the urge to point fingers at each other.
Here are some additional tips:
- Choose the right time: Your kids are going to need a bit of time to process this information, so consider having this conversation before the weekend, so they have a couple of days to mull it over and ask follow-up questions.
- Tell them what may change: You probably cannot provide all the answers right now, but you should let them know as much as you can about what will change. For example, if your spouse is moving out, tell them when and where.
- Reassure them that they are loved: You love your children, but this is an uncertain time for them, so they will need some reassurance. Tell them that your love for them will never change, regardless of your marriage.
Just as you probably do not have all the answers for your children right now, they might not know which questions to ask at first. Try to be as available as possible and make sure they understand you are always ready to talk and address any concerns they may have.
Discuss the Details of Your Divorce with an Experienced Family Law Attorney
If you are getting a divorce, you will need an experienced and compassionate attorney to guide you through it. At Crossman & McNamee, LLC, our legal team is prepared to provide the representation you need to obtain the best possible results for your case.
Call our law office today at (937) 468-3796 to set up a consultation.